i don't have a title for this story

guilty, i never did nothing to hurt anyone in my life. hi my name is mistey, i am 19 years old. i live in a town i would call a croud of guilty animals. i came from a family no child would like to live in. when i was 10 i use to run away from my parents because they were acoholics. every weekend they get their darn pay check, i would wish they would stop drinking. one night i heard my parents yelling to one another.
"Honey, where the fuck is the gun!" this frightens me when my mom asked my dad. i heard steps here and there, things dropping like bomds, i think to myself.
"I am going to die soon."
on my 12th birthday my mom told me that if i ever call the cops on them. my mom would get a gun and shoot me right in front of the police. i cried when i heard my mom say that to me. i know i didn't have any friends but i knew some day i would have some.
the years passed and i would tell myself i would never become like my parents. until one night i soon found myself drinking at the age of 17. sitting in my room staring at myself in the mirror with a shot of acohol in my hands. afraid i was becoming like my parents i took the hand gun my father had hidden under their bed. glancing at this acoholic image of my mother i pointed the gun to my beating heart. as i was looking in the mirror my door opened, it was my mom staring at me.
"baby, what are you doing?" my mother asked trying to take the gun away from my hands.
"What does it look like, mother!" i replied back with tears rolling down my cold red check. "Leave me alone!" soon pointing the gun to my mother who gave life to me.
as frightened as i was, she looked at me, "i'm sorry darling, i didn't mean to hurt you." started to cry, "baby, your father and i are sorry for acting like this" coming closer to me, "baby put the gun away, listen to me."
"No, leave me alone!" i soon took another shot of acohol and pulled the triger. opening my eye i saw my mom on the floor, my dad ran in.
"What happened?" my father looking at me, then looking at the gun in my hand, "Mistey, what did you do?" went to see if my mother was alive, "GO GET HELP!"
my heart was beating faster then it ever did, "call for help!" i yelled to the neighbor next door.
"what is the matter, mistey?" mrs. hancok asked while calling for help.
"I shoot my mother! i am sorry!" running out the door crying, yelling to god to forgive me for what i have done to my mother.
soon i heard people coming to see what was going on around my house, i was there looking at my father by the door and he yelled, "WHY!"
an hour later i was in the hospital staring at my mother. "mom, i am sorry i pulled the triger." i kissed her on the head, right when i was guided out the door my mother said, "I forgive you if you frogive me."
i was soon faced with fright in my eyes. living with my father was the worse thing i ever did. my father was even getting drunker every day, telling me to drink with him. i was afraid and scared out of my pants wishing my mother would come back but this time she wasn't coming back home. in my room crying while my dad would haller to no one, i was in my bed crying to god to protect me.
out of the darkness in the corner of my room i saw something bright. i stared at it for a moment then realisted it was my mom. "Mom is that you?"
"yes darling, it is i." she was like an angel that came from above. white wings like the snow, she was dressed as beautiful as she got married to my dad.
"I forgive you mother, i am sorry." i sat up from my bed, "Mom, am i going to die?"
"don't say such a thing, mistey." coming closer as she did before i pulled the triger. "Darling, listen to me, listen good. you are going to face a difficult desission for you this coming 19th birthday. make a good one, I Love You." those were the last words i heard from my mother ever said to me. in my bed thinking why my mom said those words. clueless and helpless, it was the next day, my father out some where god knows what he is doing.
sitting in the living room watching my favorite show, and the door opens. there standing in the door way was the cops, "are you mistey handson."
"yes," standing up, getting ready to be taken by them, "take me to jail for what i did to my mother." crying when i said those words
"mistey, you are okay we are here to tell you bad news." entering my house, telling me to sit back down. "we just found your father."
"what, is he okay?" looking at the cop. "is he alright?"
"mistey, we found him on the streets, dead." one of the cops huging me. "we found a family that will take care of you."
"we thought that you would have hard time in jail so," another cop said while bring me to the family that was going to take care of me, "we would let you start over with your new family, we are sorry for the lose of your mother and father."
being a foster child was like starting back to a new improve non-acoholic family. these new family i am going to be with until god knows how long. they are the Birnsteins. Mr. and Mrs. Birnstein have three kids. she has a 19 year old son, 16 year old daughter, and a 4 year old son. i was now a birnstein but not really one becuase i came from a family that drinks. i was affraid i would disapoint my faster parents so i told them how i ended up here.
"Mistey, i am happy you are opening up to us, and don't worry about anything. you are going to do just fine." mrs. birnstein said while hugging me.
mrs. b takes very much care for her children and i, mr. b is a fun easy to talk with when you have something bothering you. their older son is deciding on which college to attend to, this makes it easy for me because we can talk about each and every college. mrs. b's daughter talks when the day is gray, and she makes every minute fun. she told me that her father named her isabella. their 4 year old son, tristen, he's much of a young scientist even though he is 4.
as isabella and i were putting my stuff in the extra bedroom she would talk about all her friends, and how her baby brother was sometimes a brain because he is going to junior high next school year. it was time for dinner and we both walked down to join the rest of the family. around the table with wonderful food we are going to put in our stomach. before we ate the food mrs. b asks me if we do a pray and i told her that we stopped every since my parents started to drink. we all sat there getting to know each other like we were already a family.
"so mistey, are you thinking of going to college?" john asked
"yea i am thinking of going to college because i want to have a better life in my future, and not become an acoholic." i replided back with a smile
mrs. b looked at me with bright confidients eyes, "mistey you are like my son, john. you both are going to have bright future ahead of you two." she said while putting her dishes away.
"john, we found you a wife." mr. b said with a laugh
john looked at me with a big smile on his face and went in the kitchen to help his mother wash the dishes. 'She might as well be my wife, mistey."
"oh my god, mistey i think he is asking you hand in marriage." isabella repiled back with a little giggle
sitting there with my heart beating twice as fast, and felt like i was having a heart attach. isabella and i were finsihed with our food, and went to talk about our life. exchanging stories was like an angel lifting my gilt away from me, and getting to know them was like the beginning of a new life. her parents never came in to tell us it was time to head to bed it was like a sleep over but it wasn't. few mintues later john came in to join our story telling.
"what are you guys doing up?" john said with a whisper
"nothing we are just telling a time we were growing up." isabella said, "hey what are you doing up too?" pointing to john
"i heard you guys talking and giggling." replied back while sitting down on the bed we were at. "so, mistey do you think going to college is so soon?"
"if you put it that way," smiling for a while, "i think it is too early to go but what the heck i am going to go." looking at john "what about you?"
"um, i think going to college early is aight." he said with a smile on his face
isabella, john and i were talking all night until the sunset appeared the morning sounds of awaken animals. hours passed when their parents awoken from being zombies and made some tasty breakfast. the morning was like no other mornings because you wouldn't gave to make your own breakfast. also you wouldn't have to clean the mess up after a terridle fight with parents appear with black eyes.
"goodmoring children." mrs. b said while making breakfast
"i guess this morning we are going to have a college road trip." mr. b said with a big grin on his morning face.
(this is how far i got and this is a draft of my story that was going through my head that needed to get out. needs work and it is not finished. thinking how the ending it going to work out. :D)

Kayaking 8/28/08

like wow, i mean like wow. gosh this was the most fun i ever did but walking with some friends from here was aight but Kayaking was awesome man a lot of fun didn't fall in but got splashed by some people but two people gosh man it was a lot of fun but yea i guess man i am like wow gosh man that was a lot of fun like man will not forget about it thought i was going to fall in but never did which was aight man the water is like COLD man. but it was fun kayaking gosh man a lot of fun like totally, like oh my god. gosh man i am kind of missing my family but i will survive this thing. gosh man well when john john and the other person was seeing our balance man when it was my turn i freaked out but i was good man well i guess i am going to say nothing jsut been a good Kayaking well later.

Basketball In Bethel (pinky's park)

okay here i go this is the fun part of today so far yea i guess we went to play some hoops. there was two guys one i know from akula and the other one i don't know. some girls kept coming in to play and others watch but not for me i played. man it was a lot of fun them guys didn't know i play a lot so i didn't what they call them not play very well until i got use to them that is where i play my moves. playing ball was a lot of fun with other people but i hope we join a team now that is going to be a lot of fun. gosh i have been wanting to do that every since i don't know when but i sure will love being in a team for the first time. you know that day was not go going good but i am slowly getting the hang of it these days. i got a room mate that is awesome and she is from Akula too so she is nice also the other ones are jolene and shannon from tookdok bay. so i know some of these people and couple are related to me which is awesome but i got to get to talk to them more often. damn so went to pinky's park to play some hoops and it was a lot of fun but the basketball hoops are so high i have to shoot the ball high then i do in oscarville. sucks man i need to visit my couzin so bad well i don't know if i will get to because i don't want to go there alone and i don't know her phone number so yea. yea basketball was awesome get my mind off of home but now i sure miss home and can't wait to get there asap. darn i need to take a shower but i didn't bring some shower stuff but i will when i get home and bed sheets as well too. dammit i wonder if i should visit my couzin karlene. well i am off will write more when ever i ever come here again so bye and later.

2nd day of college 5/26/08

wow, i say today was at first a nightmare that i thought was nevering to to end. so today was such a busy day for students getting their tests and getting their what they call them like getting their classes something like that. well today was man like going here and sometimes waiting for someone to get to you. all this it was fun and like wow everyone going here and there just like hunger animals getting their pray. all that time my heart was pounding here and there and sometimes thinking so hard on like what to write on one essay, "in what way would you like to improve your life? give one way and explain..." i forgot the rest of the sentence because i was too much forcussing on what am i going to write an essay about this. so i thought and thought and thought until i got like three weird paragraphs. i say that becauase well i was thinking too much about writing these down and yea pretty much i tried my best writing my essay. okay and now the part i call "getting your darn homework college" this means getting the books i am giong to be taking throughout the fall and wow telling you seems like i will be busy with College Success Skills, Elementary Algebra, Mathematics Skills, Reading Enhancement, Reading Skills, Elementary Exposition, English Skills and oh man this one sounds FUN.......QASPEQ MAKING......yea something i will enjoy durning week ends. so all this adds up to 14 curses and i don't know what that means. like wow. so tomorrow i am going to get my books i couldn't make it today well they quit at 5 but might get them tomorrow. shoot all day my nose is like being super gay like getting sick and all that. this was the funny part i had but might be gross for you, i had to make sure it was not going down my nose, and oh man i can't believe i am going to be doing this. ha ha you might be laughing and grossing out when i say this, okay i was there in the cubes that is what they call them and i looked at my finger then made a smile then let my finger go up my nose took the stuff out and put it on my bottom of my shoe.....eeewww. well that was funny for me because well no one was there but me but there were some people in others cubes man that was a funny moment which i will never forget doing my first time ever in college, i hope not...he he. yea today we are going to be busy doing activities. will tell you all about things when days go by fast. yea all this feels like Talent Search. oh one part i didn't include so stupid of me to do. okay we had to interduce one another like saying your freaken name and where you live. at this point i would be all having a heart attack like damn man i wish i was at home. but at the same time i am kind of enjoying all this but it is going in slowly. also while i was getting my things down some people ask me if Eliza Joekay was related to me. i smile then say "she is my mom" with a smile on my face. okay i am going to be heading out so later.

entering college 5/25/08

entering sakethall was all mixed emotions to where i fell like throwing up so bad i want to go back home. first days was boring here and time for me was all i don't know it is like i want to go home but at the same time don't. i just want to go back home because i am bored i know i got some people i know that are here but i just want to go back. my heart beating so much that can't stop beating but i am praying i will be okay. i just can't wait to go home this week end but i don't want to go back here i don't know why i don't want to come back. college wow going to be starting on the 2nd of next month, and well i kind of don't want to go college yet but i have been told to go. so my first day was the worse day of my life, and it felt like i can't put in words but it was the worse day of my life now. i can't believe our group is going what they call them when kayaking something like that laugh out loud i don't even know if i am spelling this today. i am guessing i am to much wanting to go home that is all, shoot man i do want to go back home. freaking out here and what else bored to the bone. it is like every minute something is missing in my life and i have to get use to it and quick. i am here in the room all thinking "why am i here and what am i doing here." "oh yea i got to get my edecation..." man i feel like crying but i don't want to cause idk just don't want to. well i am going to head out tomorrow we are going to have fun. well here i go darn I WANT TO GO HOME. well giving college a chance and yea i am going bye and good night.